BRIGHTON FESTIVAL REVIEW

BIG DADDY VERSUS GIANT HAYSTACKS

The Old Courtroom, May 26–28, 10pm.
01273 709709

This new comedy from Brighton writers Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon (the men behind history-of-aviation drama Those Magnificent Men) concerns the wrestling behemoths of yesteryear, played by Ross Gurney Randall and David Mounfield respectively, who also assay a supporting cast of such luminaries as Paul McCartney and Princess Margaret. The two performers are pitch-perfect, as is the writing. Unlike the majority of modern theatre, with its site-specific gimmicks, and video projections, this show used the time-honoured theatrical tricks of the trade - quick-changes, crisp dialogue, and performances which were always hugely-energetic without ever being over-the-top - and used them to whip up the audience into a veritable frenzy. I have no hesitation in awarding this play five stars. Theatre at its best.

BFI SCREENING - LOST CARRY ON FILMS

From June 15th - 22nd the BFI will be screening a series of Carry On Films previously thought to be lost or destroyed.

CARRY ON RATIONING (1958)
Black marketeer Sid Knockers (Sid James) becomes embroiled in a scheme to forge green shield stamps.

CARRY ON VET (1962)
Animal doctors Sid Crumpet (Sid James) and Norbert Riddle (Kenneth Connor) accidentally breed a dog that can predict the future.

CARRY ON SPACE RACE (1968)
British astronaut Albert Peeing (Charles Hawtrey) attempts to reach the moon, beating American Tex Dallas (Sid James) and Russian Ivan Normous (Bernard Bresslaw).

CARRY ON, MAN (1969)
Hippie dropout Cedric Featherstone (Robin Asquith) puts LSD in the water supply of a suburban street, transforming the lives of Sid Banger (Sid James), wife Nora (Patsy Rowlands) and uptight neighbour George (Terry Scott) and resulting in a jaw-dropping orgy.

CARRY ON NOTHING (1978)
Glue-sniffing Sid Vicious (Sid James) attempts to destroy society.

CARRY ON YUPPIE (1985)
Besuited filofax-worshipper Gus Gecko (Peter Howitt) tries to develop a run-down estate, but residents Sid Grabber (Sid James), Trudy Truelove (Barbara Windsor), and Bert Silage (Peter Butterworth) have other ideas, as they swap his cocaine for laxative and frame him for insider trading.

CARRY ON INTERNET (2001) 

Dot com millionaire Sid Screwer (Sid James) invents a robotic woman (Jo Guest) but then goes bust and blows his brains out.

CARRY ON JIHAD (2010)
A terrorist cell lead by Sid Khan (Sid James) tries to blow up the houses of parliament. Directed by Chris Morris.

BRIGHTON FESTIVAL - HIGHLIGHTS

LITERATURE

Adrian Chiles reads extracts from his erotic best-seller The Sea Captain’s Daughter and Dermot Murnaghan (from BBC2’s Eggheads) reads from his sonnet sequence, ‘A Ragged Handkerchief’. Free cake.
27 May, 1pm, Old Market Arts Centre, £25/20

FILM
WIMAGES: short films by local
female directors on the subject of being a woman in Brighton today. Jesus. Free cake.
28 May, 7pm, Brighton Media Centre, £10/8

MUSIC

The Ken Ringworm Trio make a welcome return to the Festival with their very English brand of New Orleans Jazz. Expect such standards as ‘Bluer Than Blue’, ‘Gonna Kill That Woman’, and Ken’s own composition, ‘Deck Chair Rag’. Free cake.
29 May, 8pm, Hanbury Ballroom, £12/10

WORKSHOPS

PLAYING RENE IN ‘ALLO ‘ALLO: day-long workshop for actors to rise to the unique artistic challenge of playing Rene in Allo Allo. Conducted by Jeffrey Holland, who played the part in the 2009 stage adaptation. Free cake. 

30 May, 11am, St Nicholas’ Church, Dyke Road, £10/8

TOURS

JOINING THE CIRCUS: tour of locations used in the failed 2000 Eddie Izzard Brighton-based thriller Circus. Beginning outside The Rock Shop it takes in such memorable sites as the bit under the West Pier and the bit under Brighton Pier. Free cake.30 May, 1pm, £8/5

COMING SOON

NEW DOOMED, CASH-IN MUSICALS BASED ON RECENT FILMS


ANCHORMAN
Lee Evans and Connie Fisher star in Cameron Mackintosh’s adaptation of the 2004 hit comedy. Songs include ‘Here Is The News’, ‘Not On My Watch’ and ‘Autocue Blues.’

KNOCKED UP
Robert Webb and Sarah Harding in The Really Useful Theatre Company’s adaptation of the Seth Rogan runaway hit. Songs include ‘Eggs Over Easy’, ‘How Did I Ever Let Someone Like Him Leave Something Like This In My Life’, and ‘Just Get It Outa Me’.

FAILURE TO LAUNCH
Alan Davies and Samantha Janus star in this unconvincingly anglicised adaptation of the 2006 E4 standby romcom. Songs include ‘Mum And Dad Know Best’, ‘Strictly Cash Only’, and ‘Strange New Feeling’.

DODGEBALL 
Martin Freeman and Mackenzie Crook in Stephen Daldry’s adaptation of Stiller/Vaughn generic sports comedy. Songs include ‘Abs and Pecs’, ‘Shiver Me Timbers’ and ‘It’s Not The Taking Part, It’s The Winning’.

BRONSON 
Another brave change of direction for Michael Ball as he swaps his ‘50s beehive for a false moustache in this RSC production of the grim British 2008 biopic. Songs include ‘Tighten The Screw’, ‘The Slopping Out Tango’ and ‘Lights Out For Love’.

NEW THEATRE

DREAMING OF BARBRA
Cassie, a downtrodden supermarket worker with an unappreciative husband, gets through the days of drudgery by fantasising about the life of her heroine, Barbra Streisand. But what will happen when fantasy and reality mix? And can Cassie really sing ‘Lover Come Back To Me’ at the Christmas party? And does anyone care?
Richardson Theatre, Previews 28 May, 8pm, £22/£15

FAIRIES, DINOSAURS, SPACEMEN, UNDERPANTS AND FOOTBALL
Attempt to cover all bases for a childrens’ show.
Little Wee Tiny Theatre Wednesday 29 May, 2 & 6pm, £15/£12

LICK YOUR POISON OFF MY FACE
Self-consciously confrontational and profane dance/theatre piece in which a black skinhead slowly beats a pregnant female vicar to death while a nude prostitute in a wheelchair reads from the collected poems of George Meredith.
Royal Court Cloakroom, Wednesday 29 May 8pm £10/£8

SHATTERPROOF GLASS 
Modern (ie ‘80s) would-be-sophisticated thriller concerning insider-trading city financer Martin Glass, who attempts to murder his wife by computer. Set in the Costa del Sol and starring two people who were once in soap operas.
Prince Edward Theatre, Previews 30^th May, 7.30pm, £20/£18

CARRY ON ABOVE
The ghost of Sid James and the ghost of Bernard Bresslaw debate the meaning of existence in this frankly underwhelming two-hander.
Greenwich Theatre, 31^st May - 3^rd June, 8pm, £12/£10

BLU RAY RELEASE

EVERYTHING (TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX/METRO-GOLDWYN-MEYER/ORION/PARAMOUNT/BBC WORLDWIDE/THAMES ETC.) £999.99

Every single film and television show ever made is to be included in this, “the ultimate boxset.” Volume one includes complete runs of The Addams Family, After MASH, Airwolf, and The Arthur Askey Show, as well as the films A.I., About A Boy, About Schmidt, Accident, The Accidental Husband, and The Accidental Tourist.

NEW TV SHOW

RIVER COTTAGE CANNIBAL (MONDAY 28TH MARCH, CHANNEL 4, 9PM)
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall hunts down, kills, and cooks once-famous TV chefs in an astonishing example of social Darwinism. This week: Gary Rhodes Wellington, Michael Barry Biryani, and Jerk Ainsley Harriott.

THEATRE

SIGNIFYING NOTHING: HELLO< HELLO< GOODBYE

The feted physical theatre group present a show which turns out to be an idea nicked from a novel by Nabokov or Herman Hesse or someone, as is always the case with physical theatre groups. Anyway, it's business as usual – some over-emoting while two actors pretending to be businessmen discussing female circumcision or similar, and then there's a low, "comedy" bit where another actor comes on doing a funny walk with a fez on and pretends to break wind, and you're supposed to laugh. Then everybody runs about a bit while they play a Rolling Stones song. And there's two hours of this. Oh well, never mind. At least one of the actresses is quite attractive, so you can stare at her and try and take your mind of the rest of it. And there's a bit where she nearly gets her kit off.
Soho Theatre. Monday 18^th April. 8.00PM. £12/£10

CHRISTWATER: BENEATH A STEEL SKY

Who is Jojo? Where did he get that scar on his wrist? What lies behind the yellow door? Why are the men with purple armbands after him? Are they government agents, or something much, much worse? Can brain-damaged Cal have the answer? Or not? Why does this blurb consist entirely of rhetorical questions? Anybody? 


Royal Court. Wednesday 20^th April. 8.00PM. £8/£6

NEW TV SHOW

The “The Rock 'n' Roll Years” Years (BBC 1, Thurs 28^th April, 8.00 PM)

New show remembering, with the use of archive footage, the years 1985 to 1994, when the original BBC show “The Rock 'n' Roll Years” was shown. Episode 1: 1985. Ronald Reagan is sworn in for a second term, the Live Aid concert takes place and Coca-Cola release New Coke, to the sounds of Huey Lewis and the News, Power Station, and Falco.  

COMING SOON!

NEW DOOMED CASH-IN MUSICALS BASED ON RECENT FILMS


A BEAUTIFUL MIND
Gareth Gates, Denise Van Outen, and Chico star in Cameron Mackintosh’s adaptation of the 2001 actually-pretty-good biopic of mathematician John Nash. Songs include ‘All You Need Is A Friend’, and ‘Gotta Play The Game’.

ALONG CAME POLLY
Lee Evans and Kerry Katona star in Cameron Mackintosh’s adaptation of the underwhelming 2004 Stiller-Aniston date movie. Songs include ‘Life’s A Risk’ and ‘Mess Up My Room (With Love)’

MISERY
In a rare foray into the form from the Royal Shakespeare Company, Stephen King’s macabre literary nightmare is brought to musical life by Patrick Stewart and Julia McKenzie. Songs include ‘Mister Man’ and ‘Hobbling Towards Salvation’.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Ruthie Henshall and Michael Ball in the National Theatre’s adaptation of the 2004 Oscar-glutton. Songs include ‘No Job For A Lady’ and ‘Ain’t Got A Leg To Stand On’.

WEDDING CRASHERS
Matthew Horne and James Corden star in Cameron Mackintosh’s adaptation of the demi-popular 2005 Wilson/Vaughn clunker. Songs include ‘We’re With The Groom’, ‘Stay Away From My Daughter’, and ‘Welcome To The Club.’